bygone days

just some talk

2006-01-23T03:12:00.000-05:00

I am back at school and feeling more lost than ever. I miss the people who are gone (namely danielle) but also feel as though i am getting closer to some people that I wasnt as close to last semester. All in all though, I know that this school is not the place for me. Everyone keeps saying, just wait, we are going to make your life rock this semester and you are not going to want to leave...but i just dont see anything making that much of a difference.

About that last post, I was not in any way saying anything to jeopardize past relationships, only to say the truth, that they are not the same as they were one year ago. Matt: nowhere in my post to i say that those people saved me. yes, they have been there through a lot, but NO they didnt save my life. they also have been there for far more than parties. you obviosly think that is all i am good for now...but you wouldnt know, would you

the past few weeks have brough a lot of adventures, changes, and anything else you can imagine. i wish that i was a stronger person, but a lot of it has put a damper on my attitude. There have been some great times, over break and since i have been back at school, but i have also been in the funkiest of moods. i hope this passes by without too much thought, but if it doesnt, i suppose i will trudge through it.

short post, but i just wanted to write something. it seems this whole blog thing isnt going to stick around with everyone, but i will probably continue to write spontaniously just to get out some feelings.

peace

2006-01-09T23:48:00.000-05:00

I figured it was time i write a real post. as midnight approaches i feel as though i am moving ahead in my life...yeah i know this is corny. but it is a new year, and it is also closely approaching my 19th birthday. i move on into the next year of my life.

all i can say is although this past year has brought many troubling times, it has also brought me some amazing things. I have lost friends (or at least changed my standing with some previously close friends) but at the same time i have gained some amazing ones. I mean, i have no idea where i would be in my life right now without brianna, claire, ben, jenni, and the rest of that crew. they have been there for me, and adopted me into their lives.

so...to facilitate me moving on to the next year of my life, i wanted to make a quick list of great things this year has done, as well as not so great...some you may understand, some you may not. but take it for what it is

singledom
broken friendship
some depression
a different look at things
weight
ap bio memories
sanchez
a new job
toronto
jamie felz
new friends
a soulmate
waterskiing
allie
shoes
the lake
parties...
graduation
the cabin
jay
beaver island
an invincible summer
ponshewaing (chris)
moving away
a new city
a new life
a new world
lauren house
the rest of my au crew
danielle, one of the most amazing people ive ever met
the terrace
a peirced nose
a great roomie
lots of gay men
a new me
epiphanies/realizations
bonds
a better understanding of brendan
closeness with my parents
lauren house (yeah she deserves being mentioned twice)
a soulmate (if lauren gets 2, so does she)
kacie and kelly stewart
the ability to give people a second chance
corn, hahaha
a change of direction in life
new sense of family
stronger ties with sam
seeing men for what they are

all in all, this year i learned a lot about myself and other people. i found out (through leaving for school) who is a real friend, and who sees me as someone they can toss off to the side. i am who i am, and i love that. i love the people that i make an effort to keep myself close to.

id love to hear what you guys have to say about your year/my year/whatever

hmmmm

2005-12-29T00:32:00.000-05:00

just one thing to say tonight...or this month, haha

maybe us being friends was never what wwas meant to be. i have what who i love, as do you and that is that

have a wonderful life until the next time i write!

woah

2005-12-08T00:14:00.000-05:00

while procrastinating over a paper and catching up on those who have updated their blogs, i realized that it has been an unbelievable amount of time since i have written anything. the college life seems to have engulfed me. for real. The past two weeks have flown by, i actually have no idea how there got to be only three days of classes left. but I am not complaining. I have to finish up this paper im writing now, then rewrite one fora better grade due friday then i am home free aside from finals. Christmas break is actually seeming it is nearing, where as before i thought is an amazing idea that i would never actually reach.

This past weekend was one of my best since ive been on campus, or at least one of the best in the past month or so. Friday night we had a "holiday party" in our lounge. we put up a christmas tree, decorated it, and had some spiked egg nog :P. the spirit was wonderful, and everyone was cheery about it being the holidays. we also picked secret santa's, always a fun holiday activity. Our group of girls on my floor as well as a few other serogate terrace members joined in on the fun. That was early in the evening, so later on I went and met up with my brother who was in town for an anthropology conference, brought him to campus, and showed him around. Come saturday, it was lauren's birthday. we took a wonderful trip to georgetown, where i got my nose pierced :D:D and we took a few detours into stores...i bought her the cutest shirt in the world for her bday! then it was party time. megan and i made dinner for everyone, and we had a cake, and then a huge gathering that kinda took over the floor for the night, a good time was had by all. Sunday i went out to breakfast with brendan: good to see him once again.

Aside from the weekend, most of my life has been full of work. with classes starting to end, there has been a million things to turn in.

k, i seriously should return to this paper...i think this was ended super awkward, but i need to get to work. more sooner than it took me this time, i promise!

one week

2005-11-16T11:06:00.000-05:00

okay, im caving in. its been two weeks since the last post, so i thought it was damn near time for a new one. an update from the politicallly CRAZED city.

Things seem to be on a rollercoaster, a great day followed by an awful one. As we near thanksgiving break im DYING to come home. Last time around being home gave me just the right refresher to actually appreciate this place a little more. Im hoping that thanksgiving will do the same. then just two weeks of classes, and some finals later...and it's an entire month home for Christmas! w00t. so much to look forward to

But before any of that can come, I have two ten page papers, and a stats test to trudge myself through. Thank god one of those papers is practically writing itself with help from an AP Bio paper I wrote last year. it goes cut, paste, add, revise a little. So, im in the know with that one. As for the other paper, im lost as hell...i dont really even understand the assignment. so...we'll see how that one turns out.

The transferring thing is up in the air. I had my talk with the parents about it when they were here last month. They seemed suprised yet supportive, but insisted on my waiting until next fall, finishing out two semesters to be sure transferring was what I want. But a few nights ago in my conversation with my dad, he told me that him and my mom have been talking about me a lot lately, and that we would discuss things further when I was home. and thats all he said. so im at a loss for what that could be about. to tell you the truth for a small period of time i thought about trasnferring back to NCMC for a semester. but i dont really think that would be in my best interest. Im the the process of choosing classes for next semester, and im making sure that they are things i will find interesting....seeing as though me disliking the subject matter of my classes this semester has made things difficult.

The hard part is how much I miss home...how much i miss Michigan none the less. it's a weird feeling being disconnected from home. I dont know how the rest of you are feeling about it, I know you make it home, or at least away from your respective schools, a little more often than i do, but im sure the feeling is still there. Here I am, in this city, with so much around me...isnt that what i said i wanted, but feeling out of place. the people here are from the east coast...and if i didnt know it before, i do now. things are dont differently on the east coast. not one of my purses says coach, or louis vuitton, or prada on it....and thats unheard of. No, I dont own designer shoes, I dont shop at nordstroms, and i dont think that clothing from neiman marcus is attractive. I dont spend money on one item of clothing that cost more than half of my entire wardrobe. i feel like a small town girl thrown in with people who spent thier younger ages taking the train to "the city" (no, thats not Traverse City, thats NEw York City...and NO ive never been there).

this is a long one, sorry guys. i love my friends here, but i feel like i dont fit the mold of the people that go here, and that scares me. maybe its just the petoskey in me, im used to all of you who, although we arent all the same, we are similar. In other news, my washington lab went to the NBC studio today, and i loved it! communications is looking a little more attractive for now at least. We got to see the DC news live from the studio, as well as checked out the studio where meet the press and a bunch of other NBC talk shows are taped :)

k, im done, those of you who made it all the way through that post, i congradulate you. let me know, ill send you a present. :P

good news, i guess

2005-11-03T18:01:00.000-05:00

Results are in

I guess the news is as good as it gets at this point. My spleen IN enlarged, but the doctor says that it isnt a serious probelm. so basically, its big but its not bad enough to have to worry about it rupturing. The bad part of it is that well, it IS enlarged. So basically, this pain in my side isnt going away anytime soon, and i have to be beyond careful for a while.

what does that mean? no intense physical activity for three months. probably me dropping my aerobic dance class because of that. absolutely no alcohol, and me getting lots of rest, and drinking lots of water. And according to a letter from my aunt...chocolate helps too. HAHA.

So...heres what i want from you kids...errr Young Adults. If I dont have your address, will you get it to me!?! I get bored at times, and writing letters has been helpin me out, but ive conveniently run out of family to write to, so im moving on to friends!

ps: me getting mail would also help the boredom! hehehe.

I love ya'll, just wanted to let ya know that im not dying. (in other words, if you thought you were going to get rid of me, well. your shit out of luck)! I can't wait for Thanksgiving!!!

health please

2005-10-31T23:31:00.000-05:00

so...college is quite seriously killing me.

Im sure all of you have heard that i have mono. Today I went to the health center for a little check up thing, and was complaining of pain in my abs..so they said that my spleen needs to be checked on and referred me for a cat scan.

I called my mommy who promptly freaked out. then proceeded to find me a good place to go and got me an appointment, all that stuff that mommy's do for you. So this evening i gathered a good friend and we ventured to the hospital. They made me drink a cup of tracer fluid. aka a glass full of something that looked like jiz and tasted like shit. then we sat for 2 hours...i think the people in the waiting room probably hated us by the end of those 2 hours, meg and i were being goofy as hell.

then they took me back, made me change and handed me ANOTHER GLASS OF THAT SHITTY STUFF. i gagged it down, almost throwing up the whole time. it sucked balls. then i had to get the cat scan...including an IV. eeeewy.

result: i dont know. i find out tomorrow. but if things suck i would have to get surgery.

i shall keep you kids updated.

til then i love you all. this entry may not have made any sense. im delerious right now. haha

this is when friends come in handy

2005-10-19T14:23:00.000-04:00

Alright guys, im inlisting your help!

I dont even know where to start, but im second guessing myself here. I love the city, i love the social life of this school...but im not so sure about the acedemics. I dont feel like im getting much out of it. I learn SO much about politics, but i dont want to take my life into politics. Seeing as that was the reason i made my venture out to DC, and forked over so much money to this school, im looking at it differently now that im looking at my life differently. I dont know WHAT i want to do. This school is AMAZING at getting you into the political world...but outside of that it isnt THAT good of a school.

My mom just called...i made a comment about not staying here....hmmmm. maybe i should have saved that until i see her on friday. anyways

I just dont see a point in forking over SO much mone (ps: theres a bill on the floor that wants to take 15 billion away from federal aid for college students) and we all know that if i dont keep the amount of aid i have right now, ill be spending a shitload on this place. That, i cannot do. So, basically I am wondering about what i am going to do with the whole where im at college thing right now.

The thing is, im not so sure WHERE I would transfer to if I did in fact transfer...

so heres what i charge you, my trusted pals, with. What should i do?? what do you recommend?? and any siggestions about a good school closer to home and less expensive? You better respond kids!

2005-10-17T15:32:00.000-04:00

its been way longer than i should ever let it be, ive decided. college life is not really conducive to being able to sit down and type out some words though...there's usually people in and out of the room, things to get done, and homework to procrastinate over by watching tv or taking naps. but here i am, just back from getting out of work early, and the roomie is taking a nap, so i cant leave the door open.

Im not gonna lie, college is getting to me. First it was amazing, then there was a stressful week, then it was amazing again for a while. being home was A BLAST (it was awesome to see all of you, i miss you all like mad now that im back here), and now midterms are in full swing and im going mad, literally MAD.

This morning, i awoke at 9:40, rolled out of bed, changed from my sleeping sweats and tank top to another pair or sweatpants and a sweatchirt, and went running out the door. 9:55...i sit down in class and out gets passed the midterm. (it's 5 essay questions) I look at the first one, and think to myself FUCK, i have no idea what that is. i remember searching for it in the book last night, and with no luck figuring that if it was that hard to find, it probably wont be on the test. well it was, and i made up 2 paragraphs of information about it. After i got through that one things started looking a little bit up, i was able to provide quite a bit of information on the remaining 4 questions.

Alright, it's 11:00, one down, one more to go. Ive got 20 min so i rushed to the tunnel and grabbed a cup of coffee, then sat down in the quad to call charlotte and vent about the fact that even if i ACE those other 4 questions i can't get that good of a grade on my comp pol midterm id just finished. She picks up the phone sounding no where near her normal self. the "hi love" was quiet and unexcited. Turns out my dear is having some medical problems. :( I love her to death, and am now worried about her mucho. Nothing too bad though, so she should be alright.

11:20 I sit down in my next class, yet another midterm. This one went relatively well other than my worrying about Char most of the time i was in there. oh well

So theres my morning, lol. in case you care. other than those damn tests things here have been way more hectic than usual. I put myself in a situation i dont like at all, then kinda got out of it...but im still not able to get it off my mind. My two closest college friends are both having mental breakdowns. I love helping people with that kinda stuff, but the stress was KILLING me this weekend. i kinda have a think for the boy that lives next door, Blake, but im not so sure thats a good idea. Simply because he lives next door and if anything bad happened i would have to see him everyday.

shit this is the longest blog entry ive written in like forever, so im going to stop. Kinda ubrupt i know

3 days, and counting

2005-10-05T03:04:00.000-04:00

It's tuesday night

I just got an upsetting look from my ra

I woke him up...

But i think it was worth it, because judging by the look on his face, he wont remember waking up tomorrow morning.

what happened you ask: well NEVER leave a push-cart meant for moving things in the hallway of a college dorm. it just isnt smart. even two relatively sober people found it amusing to give rides to each other at 3am around the floor hallways....not gonna lie, it was SO much fun.

anyways, the night's events aside, I am UBER excited about coming home this weekend (so YES andrew, those two and a half hours crammed in the backseat are going to be worth it, even though you are worthless and not going to be around on saturday). I love it to death here, and will probably be calling my gals while im home (okay I WILL be calling them, considering lauren and i couldnt handle ourselves when we were apart for one night...on a MONDAY night)...and i not sure if my stomach is going to be able to handle 4 whole days of homecooked food...and i will probably crash my car because i havent been in a car other than ONE taxi ride and a few rides to parties since ive been here....i dont remember when the last time i was in a car was...i wont be able to jump on the AU shuttle and head to the metro...there wont be any good stores...and i might go through angelico's withdrawls...

other than that, I am WAY PUMPED to see everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so you better all expect to have a good time this weekend. i am forcing you to :). if you cant tell i absolutely love it here, the people are amazing, and the town couldnt be better.

this post mostly makes no sense whatsoever....hope you enjoyed it!

YAY, there goes all my money to something that has nothing to do with me!

2005-09-28T02:14:00.000-04:00

With a salary of close to a half million per year, one of the highest paid University presidents in the country, Benjamin Ladner sure doesnt seem to think thats enough. For those of you who ive talked to about this, or those who for some random reason choose the Washington Post...or hey i think its been on CNN and other news channels as well: you may have an idea of what im talking about.

The President of American University has been involved in a sort of scandal over the summer and in the past months. He is being accused of spending the school's money outside of his salary on things such as his son's engagement party, bottles of wine with prices in the few hundred dollar range, trips to europe (all first class) that have nothing to do with the school, his own personal french chef...who got 'let go' soon after the accusations coinsidentally, along with other things. The total, according to the allegations: $500,000

Soon the FBI and other governmental agencies were involved, and AU was making national news....what a great place to invest $40,000 a year in...

The deal now...its still up in the air. When confronted Ladner says that he would appoligize and resign if the allegations were true, but that they are not.

The Student Government as wel as 5 of the 6 'schools' on campus have submitted requests for him to resign, so i guess we'll see.

Tomorrow there will be a protest on teh quad for students looking to convince the board that he needs to go. To say the least I am hoping that he gets the boot. From what I hear in the past he has done amazing things for this school. and i dont hesitate to believe that he has, because I know how much the school has risen from the depths over the past years. At the same time, someone who has the balls to spend that much money ON TOP of what hes already getting paid which school be enough for almost any lifestyle does not deserve to hold that possition.

If any of you care to check up on whats going on, there are 2 great places. The washington post website (www.washingtonpost.com) and American University's paper, The Eagle (www.theeagleonline.com)

wtf mate

2005-09-20T10:53:00.000-04:00

College is slowly going ot be come the end of me. This week has been awful, i dont even know what to think about it. I mean I;m having fun, loving the life outside of class and all that. I am actually getting most of my classwork done, and all has been relatively good.

Except one thing. I can't sleep at night, barely do I see a night that I actually fall asleep before 3or4 in the morning. For the first few weeks this didn't pose any sort of problem, i always made it to class on time. Then this week came, yeah yeah yeah I know it's only tuesday morning. But i've started a trend. Both yesterday and today, I haven't made it to my 9:55 classes. I will wake up around 110:30 or 11, with the alarm somehow turned off, when I know for certain that I had turned it on the night before. Meaning, somehow I felt the need to turn it OFF while it was going on instead of pressing snooze, but when i wake up I have no recelection of it ever going off. Yesterday morning my friend from down the hall was even pounding on the door, but it did nothing to wake me.

I am at a school where attendance DOES matter in your classes. Not all of them, but most they keep at least a little it of track of it, and if i am not there, I won't get that attendance credit OR my in class participation credit. I also tend to find the lectures really really important to me understanding the information. SO basically I am freaked the hell out about this semester and what it is going to amount to. In order for me to remain here, I am going to have to get a 3.5...once I fall below that I lose my scholarship (10,000 of my financial aide) and there is no way I will be coming back EVER for another chance.

I dont want that to happen to me, but I dont see a way around it unless I can fucking wake up in the morning for my two most important classes that both happen to fall at 9:55.

That is my venting, please excuse me, I must be out now

but someone save me, this is KILLING my stress levels.

changing leaves no more

2005-09-06T12:26:00.000-04:00

The weekend before i left home, my mom and i took a venture to the traverse city area, which included exploring (or REdiscovering seeing as though i spent time there every summer during my childhod) the leland area. While driving, we came accross numberous points at which the leaves were beinning to change, falling slowing to change the seasons from summer to fall.

fall has always been a time i love, not the returning to school aspect of it but the season in general. i love the changing leaves, wearing sweaters, seeing the pumpkin patches, and gearing up for a long cold northern michigan winter. things are changing, just as everything in life takes small turns. School is getting close to being in full swing, yet here i am camped out under a tree filling my half our of free time before classes in shorts and a t-shirt, glad to be out of the heat of the sun.

i looked at the 15 day weather forcast yesterday because i was curious to see, never having lived in dc before. the last 5 days put me into a sense of shock. for 3 or 4 days the high appears never to dip below 90 degrees. in the middle/end of september. yesi know i am being very cliche talking about the weather, but it truely suprised me. the leaves appear to be never changing here, and the campus is still looking as beautiful as ever: plants everywhere. and word in the street it gets Better in october because of parents weekend (got to make it look like those thousands of dollars are well spent ya know).

Labor day weekend was nothing like anything i have ever experienced before. My labor day weekends in all past years have consisted of my family and the hoffman's (good family friends) camping for the weekend. this year there was nothing of the sort. there were newly met college friends, the sextizzle, homework, the zoo, and monuments, getting lost in dc, almost getting stuck downtown with the merto closing, and $18 cab rides that lasted all of 5 min.

well: my class (kind of, its aerobid dance) calls. i hope ive given you a sense of what dc is like

college update

2005-09-03T02:03:00.000-04:00

I am just home from a night out on the town dancin it up with the "sextizzle" formally know as the Quintizzle.

college is looking up: ive found a good group of friends (see sextizzle above) who are truely amazing. today i got a job at the AD office doing gopher work but hey it's money. classes started out a little stressful, but i think i am going to be able to handle it. I have a few WEIRD ass professors, but the rest seem pretty good.

ive been recieving mail like mad, which makes me super happy. i LOVE mail. (dont worry guys, im working on getting some out this weekend if i have the time. anyone who wants a letter or something let me know your address, because i only have a few)

well, i need some sleep, i know this was short but matt said he wanted an update, so i thought i write one real quick!

i love ya'll

Once and Eagle, Always an Eagle

2005-08-29T15:21:00.000-04:00

After completing my first day of classes, i am looking a little more optomistic. Looking back at my last post, i just want everyone to know they dont have to worry about me. I am not saying that i have completely settled here (not at all). im still feeling a little out of place, but at this point i think that it is more because I am in a new place and need to adjust, same as most other newly moved in college students.

Im sitting in the Library right now, realizing its a nice change from my normal dorm room blahs. (dont get me wrong, i love my room) but change is always a god thing.

thats enough for now, this was just a little update. But still all of you feel free to call at anytime. if its just to talk or it you have something goin on and need help: im always available for my buds. love you all!

AHHH

2005-08-24T16:08:00.000-04:00

so ive just returned from my "discover DC" program. its supposed to help us get to know the city

it was great, i LOVE this city. but there is one problem, im not so fond of the people here. ive found some nice people but havent really connected with anyone, which kinda sucks. i dont know

i guess im just feeling the first week of college blues. hopefully things only get better from here, but who knows what will happen.

i guess if worse comes to worse i can apply for next semester at UofM, and come back to where i can actually know some people around the school personally.

or maybe im overexaggerating all of this, and it really isnt any big deal. we'll see i guess

officially alone

2005-08-22T18:02:00.000-04:00

i just said goodbye to my parents

im not going to see them again until they come down for family weekend in October

i guess thats not the weird part, its more college in general. everything is shared, my room, the bathroom, the whole building has hundreds of people living in it. i guess im just not used to this atmosphere.

it seems whoever i talk to is feeling kinda the same way, out of place and out of their comfort zone

but isnt that what college is about: moving on from relying on the family to being an independant person on your way to a life in the real world, putting your education to use.

i guess thats something i need to do: learn how to grow up. i cant rely on my parents anymore, i have to rely on myself for whatever needs to get done (which seems to be a shitload!)

oh well, i guess the world will keep on turning, and all will be alright

hopefully

i guess this is goodbye

2005-08-17T17:56:00.000-04:00

the idea of saying goodbye to people is one that i find hard to fathom, i never know whether to cry or to smile and think about all the good times we've had in the past, and imagine the good ones we will have to come when the "goodbye" comes to an end.

brianna left a few days ago, so i endured my first college goodbye. it wasnt as bad as i first thought it was going to be, although i cried most of the way from her house to katelins, there was a sense of excitement in knowing that the next time we meet, we will have stories upon stories of our time apart, as well as time to create more memories together. for those of you who have seen the movie Garden State, saying goodbye when leaving for college is like putting an elipsis at the end of a relationship, it will begin again when we come home for christmas, and again come next summer.

with only one day left before i leave, i can honestly say that this will be my last post from the state of Michigan for quite some time. i suppose what i have to say is that my time here has been well spent, this summer i have taken full avdantage of where we live and enjoyed every minute of it. ive found new friends both in the people that i work with as well as some other newly found people.

i can only hope that college will bring even more excitement, so here is my goodbye to the lakes, the sun, and the freaky quirks of our wonderful little Petoskey and my hello to the world

Keep in touch and remember, dont fear we will all be back before TOO long. i lvoe you all!

thanks ben: what a year

2005-08-14T00:54:00.000-04:00

September 6th 2004
Who knew what the next year would have in store
Started our senior year, last year in high school
Man we really thought we were cool
Brianna and I were in the same classes
Plus Hot Sizzle and BEN were bringing Sugarhill Gang to the masses
Then Brianna switched out and Ben realized he was white.
Well… he knew that before but it’s alright
Cuz Brianna was almost a man before she became Aquitisha
And she’s not orange like that rich bitch Alicia
Ben was working on being last chair
And Carl was the only one who seemed to care
Claire couldn’t play cuz of here jaw surgery
And we were picking apart poems like it was brain surgery
So I guess I just rhymed the same two words
But who cares cuz we are all bio nerds
So by now it’s like Christmas and like zero snow days
But we had eaten more waffles than Hawaii has leis
So McDowell was skiing, that was a site
And Mr. Young was higher than a kite
But we got the text twist master plus the stupid row
And everybody knows Aquitisha’s a crack ho
So like 100 people got out to see the ski team win states
Then the movie theatre decided to hike up its rates
We got no Cash so what we gonna do
Well… Let’s go to Ben’s house and steal his food
And make fun of his ginormous boots
Then ask his mom about his Ancestral roots
So he has Swedish ears and got dressed in a jumper
And Brianna is on a mission to save the Loch Ness Monster
So the snow melts and what do we do
Chill at Christina’s with the OC Crew
And study for Bio like 24-7
And pick up Slurpees at 7-11
Mrs. Nicholson teaches so meticulous
That class well…its redonkulous
We learned the vagina is a hostile environment
Plus we forced like 8 teachers into retirement
There was Sanchez but he is no more
And yes Aquitisha is still a crack whore
Oh and Christina is sexy from north to the south
And don’t forget Deep Throat puts big things in her mouth
Plus her van is almost as big as a Hummer
But that doesn’t top BKizzle and Christina as lesbian lovers
I’m sorry Ms. Jackson but it is for real
Oh and there was that Van. Rd. sign that we had to steal
Plus Harold and Maude-the cult classic
Mr. Young’s cocaine addiction was getting kinda drastic
But he’s not as crazy as we were on Beaver Island
Cuz in that video man Cole is stylin
And Ben slurring his words-that won’t be missed
Plus Brianna was “so freaking pissed”
And there was Ben with his share of mooning
But it’s all good-maybe we should go tubing
And tubbing and running naked through downtown
Man Ben’s ass is the whitest around
Man we had fun-class of 05
Plus one thing we learned Brianna and Trisha can’t drive
So it was real fun make sure to keep it real
Got mixed emotions-that’s how we all feel
Drinking is ok but don’t start on that crack
So keep in touch and be sure to holla back

sometimes a good cry is amazing

2005-08-10T23:36:00.000-04:00

college

ive been told that im not saying goodbye, but saying hello to the new life awating me.

and still holding on the the past.

we had our "night before my last day at work" gathering with some of the gals at work. it was a blast, but while rummaging around the clearance racks at walmart my phone rang...twas ponshewang. i thought i was going to have another week with him but it turns out he has to get goin friday when he gets out of work. leaving only tomorrow for me to say byes to him.

that isnt necessarily the problem. it just brought about the thoughts of the "problem" i got choked up thinking about saying goodbye to him, and then realized. shit this is someone i met a week ago, what about my girls ive known for what seems like forever. the people i seriously care about. if i can barely handle talking about having to say goodbye to someone i just met, what is going to happen in a week?

so tonight, i cry.

ponshewang aint that bad afterall

2005-08-07T03:15:00.000-04:00

if you remember i made a smart-ass comment the other day about ponshewang... turns out there are some freaking AMAZING people from there

i went on a...i guess it would be a date...tonight with Chris (aka mr. ponshewang)

a movie turned into 2 hours on the hammock looking at stars afterwards.

it was amazing

now for some sleep :):):):):):)

clicky click on the link!

2005-07-28T23:48:00.000-04:00

check this out...and feel free to do so multiple times, you get to hear about sweet music, and i get street team points for soco!

http://www.ufanz.com/teams/tracking.asp?ti=996&mi=34863

random thoughts

2005-07-28T02:15:00.000-04:00

im realy going to miss people next year

some people i miss already because i never see them

chick nights can make a good week even better

i finally stood up behind the boat on waterskis....then i was in pain for 2 days, apparently waterskiing takes a lot of arm muscle

boys = confusing (not that i want one when im leaving for school, but still)

i love finding out new things about people

a guy that i used to be head over heels for (in my dreams that is) asked me for my number today (i was pleasently suprised)

i hate the feeling that i have totally misjudged someone, when i learn the truth about them

drama is rediculous

i get the feeling some people think ive turned into a hardcore partier

news flash: there are people in ponchewang!!!! i met someone who summers there the other night, i was stunned

the summer is getting close to over, what happened?

some things arent worth fixing

2005-07-20T00:05:00.000-04:00

as for that title, take it as you may and that is all i am going to say about that. i dont feel as though my feelings related to that should be plastered all over my blog

As for the past few days, they have gotten progressively better since my horrors with that day last week. and i am endng today in a wonderful mood, with little to be upset about

other than the fact that i am leaving all these amazing people in petoskey in a short month from today.

i know this post leaves little to be desired, but i have a harry potter book to attend to, and i got what i needed to out.

oh yes, and as for beaver island, an amazing time was had by all, i only wish that more of you could have joined us for the 2 days.

(and emily: i have a present for you...brianna and i bought something for all the members of our "colony")

the world can eat shit and die

2005-07-14T16:08:00.000-04:00

today has been absofuckinglutely horrible.

AP score: 3...yes i kicked my ass all year long for nothing, now i have to take two more semeseters of science. i thought i did awesome on it too

recommendation letters in the mail: 0. i needed to mail my leadership program application today or it wont get there ontime, and i wont even be considered. and the letter isnt here, so i guess thats not happening. and i really wanted to be in the program

my mom is pissed at me because i didnt want to go out to lunch with her today, and when she offered to make me lunch i said i wasnt hungry yet, and not to take the trouble. what an amazing reason to be mad at me

she freaked out, so i got all upset back at her, then jamie called and i was crying, so i probably sounded like a freak.

i havent talked to her since 11...so i still have to tell her i didnt pass the test, so she can be even more dissappointed in me because i will never meet her expectations.

i hope someone else is in a little better mood today.

this is the dawning of the rest of our lives

2005-07-12T01:13:00.000-04:00

in a car ride back to Ben's house recently a few of us heard the latest Green Day song, Holiday. singign along at the top of my lungs, the above line really got me thinking, and then us talking. as we move in to the last month of summer, at least for most of us, it is kinda a last hurrah. we're been having an amazing time, and have more fun planned out for the nextmonth.

next week a group of us are heading over to beaver island for a night, which should be amazing. it started as just a few people, but now it seems as though there may be a good sized group of us. and Ben is coming which makes me SO SO SO happy. he is my favorite new friend this year. brianna is amazing, but we hung out in the old days, so shes not new. anyways, we just got to talking about moving on and the summer and everything

its amazing how much of the summer has gone by, and how little we actually have left. its seems as though that fact has really gotten to people, as matt mentioned in his last blog, but for me it seems to only make me want to have more fun, and make the best of the little time that i have left. so that is exactly what i have been doing

i feel awful for my parents, who occasionally see me for an hour of so a day, if they are lucky. and it isnt that i dont want to be around them, but i know that i may loose touch with many of my friends once i leave for DC, so i want to make the most of what ive still got with them, andi know the family isnt going anywhere.

well, thats it for tonight, i just realized that i have to return to the real world tomorrow and go to work (after the best day off in the world).

Love...

2005-07-09T01:36:00.000-04:00

yes yes i am in love...with a computer.

much as Strongbad upgraded from Compy to Lappy, i have moved on from the shitty dell desktop to my new Apple ibook. i am obsessed with it, to say the least. so i write to you tonight from the warmth of my bed, avoiding much needed sleep.

the past week has gone by in a blur. starting with fourth of july (a complete success just as lauren said), through tonight, which involved a mixture of a new wireless network, board games, and illegal fireworks.

after work, i went to office max and spent all but $3 of my "spendable" money on a wireless router, and then proceeded to spend an hour or so getting it to work. but i was proud seeing as though i did it all without any help from Justin, my tech help friend. following that completion i headed out to the Simon's to hang out, only to decide kinda spur of the moment that claire and i wanted to drive out to Bay Shore to shoot off fireworks with Mike Russell and friends. so we spent some time at the Simon's and then headed out.

now, at first i didnt really want to drive all the way out to Bay Shore for some stupid home fireworks...well im freaking glad i made it out there. These kids dont mess around, we shot off about $200 worth of illegal fireworks, some of which cost about $40 a pop....needless to say we showed the P-town fireworks up...kinda. and wehave declared Mike's house second in line when we cant go outto Ben's.

as for in between the two events, ive been keeping myself busy with all sorts of fun, such as work...work...work. YAY. oh well, ill have a nic epaycheck to show for it come tomorrow....err later today. looking at the clock, i think im gonna get some sleep.

here come the fudgies

2005-07-03T10:28:00.000-04:00

Up here in northern michigan, we live for the summers (at least those of us who arent skiing obsessed). there's beaches, boats, water galore, sunshine, and so much more. the only downside, what we call the fudgies. each summer more and more downstaters or out-of-staters venture to our corner of northwest michigan to share in the wonders, what we refer to them as: the fudgies. now, when i was little they were cone-suckers (but i think that was just a my-family thing) because of their tendance to head to the ice cream shops that dot the area. but it isnt just ice cream it is the fudge as well...so dig in tourists, you only support out nicknames (and jamie's working hard)

anyways... it is fourth of july weekend, which up here is known as the REAL start to our summers. the month of july is when the roads are packed and our population doubles...or more. so for me, this marks the start of my summer. june had planning, orientation, and college stuff galore. now i have gotten most of that out of the way and plan to live it up for the month and a half that i have left.

as for the weekend, ive spent it working (friday-monday without a day off). but when you work on commission those are the days to work, so im not complaining. tuesday i have off and plan to make a complete tourist out of myself and head to the National Cherry Festival in Traverse City...yes a few towns down they have a festival for the cherries. a sweet festival at that. a few girls and i are going to see Deirks Bentley, an AMAZING country singer. yeah i listen to country...and love it.

anyways, from that i have a trip to beaver island planned and another one to the other side of the state for some HUGE family time with the big extended fam, as well as a weekend to hang out with a big group of people at Claire's cabin: saying goodbye and celebrating claire's graduation.

overall, without any huge plans, i am making this summer out to be a memorable one, but hey isnt that what the summer after senior year is for.

ahh summer

2005-06-24T00:55:00.000-04:00

well summer is officially in full fledge, comeplete with visits to the beach and late night warmth. its been a while since i last posted, mostly because of how busy i have been, and the fact that sitting on the computer isnt exactly my idea of a good summer day well spent.

on tuesday night i returned from new student orientation. on the way there i was way nervous, no knowing if i was going to be seeing jill much or if we were going to be seperated right off the bat. well, we got placed both on different floors, and in different groups, so i barely ever saw her other than in passing until the last day on our shopping adventure on the bra sized busses (more later on that).

upon first stepping on campus i say hordes of people walking around with their NSLC lanyards and sweet nametags, and a rush of emotions flowed thrugh my body. a mixture of sadness and excitment. i was missing my experiences at NSLC, and excited to know that next year i would have a few of my pals from there close by.

although a lot of the sessions were repetative and boring, i think the most amazing part of the trip was the people that i met. i actually ran into a few girls i met at my visit in april which was awesome. i also met all sorts of new people during our late night, "sit in the middle of the hallway and talk about random things" fun. until this past week i was really worried about the school having a lot of stuck-up rich people, but i really didnt find that at all.

anyways, from the experience i am beyond excited about moving out there in august!!! after orientation finished, jill and i had a few hours to blow so we went to Georgetown to do some shopping. we learned at orientation about how to get there (you take any bra sixed bus from tenleytown!!) so decided to test it out, and we in fact made it.

im starting to learn the city, and i know that public transportation is going to be a blast, so im hoping all yall can come visit so we can embrace the cultural exchange!

lets get fucked up and die

2005-06-13T22:55:00.000-04:00

well i was so wound up in graduation last night when i posted that i forgot about my super duper exciting experience last week: the Motion City Soundtrack concert. pretty much it was freaking amazing!

we headed out early afternoon after some nerve wracking planning to find a safe car to drive down to grand rapids. after picking claire up at her aunt's house in EGR, we successfully missed our exit, got off at the next one which turned out to take us to ANOTHER freeway, and get off in a really freaky part of town. after a few blocks we found an "adult movie theater" then quickly locked all our doors. upon the sighting of a bank, we pulled in and sent claire to get us directions....2o min or so later, after turning the wrong way and ending up BACK on the freeway going away from our destination, we found the place and got in line.

despite the finding the place troubles making us uber late, and way far back in the line...we somehow managed to place ourselves against the little fence thing, and as close to the stage as security would let you get. and that just made my concert. the bands that opened for them were pretty good, between the 6 of us, we got both of their cd's, so im looking forward to getting to know them better.

but when motion city got to the stage, i just about went mad. we were all screaming like crazy people. the concert was awesome because they played a mix of stuff off of both the old cd and the new one. so i got to hear some of my favorites, and hear some of the new stuff live. i bought the cd for lauren for her grad present, and put it on my computer before i gave it to her (sorry hun), and i have been listening to it nonstop ever since!!!

afterwards we waited around for a bit and then got to meet Justin, the lead singer. i remember after we saw them in october we saw him standing around and thought about having him sign some stuff, but didnt, so im glad this time around we did! he was really nice, and signed a ton of stuff for us as well as let us get a picture with him, so im uber excited toget a copy! YAY

all in all it was an aweosme concert, lots of moshing, jumping, crowd surfing (i didnt take part in all of that). hopefully twice wont be the end of how many times i see them live!

where the hell did the last week go

2005-06-12T23:31:00.000-04:00

that's about how i am feeling as today comes to an end. it has been an entire week since graduation, and i havent really done much of anything other than work, go to parties, and help out around the house.

today marked my graduation party, which i think turned out to be a complete success. there were a few people i wish would have come who didnt, but overall there was an awesome turnout. at a few points i could even manuver through the living room, and the deck was full of people.

so that's it. as my dad said to me as people were clearing out "you really are done with high school, this marks the end..." so here i am, left with a summer in front of me followed by a school year of hopefully so much more. earlier this week i got my schedual emailed to me. yup...my college schedual (rock on my classes dont start til like 11 on mondays!). it just seems so real now, for a while it was like i was speaking of some other life when the topic of college came up, but now...now it is my life, and a life i have been looking forward to got YEARS!

so congrats everyone, today was a big day for a few of us (kim and lauren). this is the real end, all we have left now is our senior summer, and some other people's parties to attend.

graduated?

2005-06-08T00:02:00.000-04:00

while hanging out at Ben's house tonight, someone used the word alumni to describe my fellow graduates and i. somehow that was it, it finally hit me. no longer will i walk the halls of Petoskey High School. no longer will the Walrus have the final say in just about anything. no longer will Mr. Tamm be telling me to "kick that out." no longer will there be uber cool class trips. no long will a lot of things happen, but those are not so important.

what really hit me is that no longer will i see so many of the people i know to be aquantences (yeah i murdered that one, but oh well). it just hit me that i am losing people, already have lost people, and i never got the chance to say goodbye. never got the chance to tell those people how much they ment to me.

right before i left, Ben handed me his senior picture that he had written on, and as i waited for claire to pull out of the driveway so she could follow me home, i read it. he told me if i was ever feeling down while off at college to call him up and he would sing/rap for me. and there they came. the first post-graduation tears. something about him mentioning me getting down at college brought it on. i think it was the realization that in a little over 2 months i am going to be alone. a-l-o-n-e, not away from home for a few weeks of vacation without the fam, not saying goodbye to my friends for a month. i am going to be straight up alone for a good four months.

i know it sounds like i am not looking forward to my college years. dont get me wrong, i am PUMPED, but there is the thought in the back of my mind that i will know all of 3 people in a city of millions come august. there will be no running into friends when i go to the store, no bumping into people i've known my whole life, and that scares me.

so a heads up, some of you may be getting some calls next year to talk about the good ol' times, the future, to hear you sing to me, or simply so i can hear a familiar voice.

i guess what tonight made me realize is that graduation is the time when you find out who your true friends are. at school you can say hi to whoever you want, because you know you will run into them at one time or another, but now...now being friends with someone actually requires a little work. we have to make the calls, and meet up, or just catch up every once in a while with a quick phone call. but who is going to take the time to make that call, that is how you find out who the real friends are.

uno dia

2005-05-31T17:31:00.000-04:00

with one day of school left to go, i figured i could muster up the motivation for a quick list of a few random thoughts

1. ONE DAY!!!
2. there are so many kids in gonna miss next year
3. what happens in toronto stays in toronto
4. ever realize you met someone at the complete wrong time and fgeel bad that you didnt realize their awesomeness earlier in life?
5. Jamie Felz is my new favorite junior: he rocks my socks
6. seeing people who have never been intoxicated before intoxicated is absolutely hilarious
7. teachers actually can be really really cool
8. badmiton can provide lots of amazing entertainment
9. i wonder if the bread im making has finished rising
10. the mailman was delivering the mail when i got home today, it made me laugh....and this "story" will probably only make lauren laught but oh well
11. seems like i never see brendan anymore. he gets home from work and goes to bed, then leaves for work before im up
12. its summery outside and that makes me happy
13. i think Wagner (the brazilian exchange student) should join our group of friends until he leaves in july because he's a lot of fun and doesnt get out much...and hes my neighbor
14. i am poor
15. im gonna go check on my bread

short and sweet, but this is about as long as i can focus on one thing.

ahhh attack of "the itis"

2005-05-24T16:03:00.000-04:00

in lauren's words, the "itis" has for sure taken over my life and everyday actions. my current average day goes about like this:

8:30am: stare at the clock praying the shool has burnt down and not wanting to get out of bed
8:50am: actually manage to drag myself our of bed, and quickly into the shower
9:15am: rush into the car and speed away to school praying Este won't mark me as late seeing as though one more "unexcused tardy" in that class would leave me with the wrath of facing detention to make up the time.
11:30am: pop into Mrs. Self's office while she tells me not to bother coming back to school, ill be more use to society not coming to my teachers Aide hour.
12:00: stare at the clock in Mr. Young's AP Lit class, doing nothing much, and hoping he will let us out early
12:30pm: make the treck to Big Apple Bagels often with Cole, Brianna, or Kate wondering when they are going to learn my name and normal order as they have done for Brianna (when i walked in today the lady was exclaiming "what will it be today Brianna")
1:00pm: return to my house, most of the time with one or more people in tow to do absolutely nothing for the expanse of 5th hour
2:05pm: most of those people leave to go back to school for the final hour and i do one of the following
~absolutely nothing
~absolutely nothing
~ or of course: absolutely nothing

the evening usually consists of procrastinating to do any sort of work on the Bio lab/project that is due apon my return from Toronto.

in short, i havent been doing much of anything worthwhile in the past 2 weeks or so. i have been spending time with some awesome people, laughing a lot, and most of all reminiscing over the past and the cliche aspects of the fact that graduation looms only a week and a half away.

yes i know it is corny, but as the days dwindle away i can't help but think about how many of my dear "school friends" i will probably not maintain after these last 2 weeks are over with. i hope to god that i will still run into them on my rare trips back home, but at the same time i must accept the fact that I am on the edge of entering a new chapter in this book of life. I am moving on to meet new people, have new experiences, and explore a new city. as i close the chapter on high school, i could not hope for anything more than my college memories to be as wonderful as those from this period.

as i move into the last week or so of high school, blogging most likely will not be on the top of my list of things to do (as you can tell from my lack of writing lately), so as i venture to toronto, thrive through the last 3 days of school, stay up for inhumane hours on the senior trip to cedar point, and walk across the stage a proud graduate of Petoskey High School, i leave you with this song. it was the senior song of last year's graduating class, and is one i feel relates to every graduate, and most of all to me.

Dexter Freebish: Leaving Town.

Oh your reputation is so golden

your never lonely and your never home

I know you've been talking about leaving

you've lost all your feelings for this town.

Paint your nails and put your lipstick

you don't want to miss your ticket out.

Just because you graduate from school

so high in the gene pool that's your point of view.

But when your broke and down and no one else is around

You'll come running back to this town and

I'll be there, yeah I'll be there.

Cause I remember how we drank time together

and how you used to say that the stars are forever.

And daydreamed about how to make your life better by

leaving town, leaving town.

Pack your bags, your smokes in your pocket

Your wearing my locket around your neck

Take a drag and wait for the Greyhound

the world is your playground and you want to win.

But when your broke and down and no one else is around.

You'll come running back to this town and

I'll be there, yeah I'll be there.

Cause I remember how we drank time and

how you used to say that the stars are forever.

And daydreamed about how to make your life better by

leaving town, leaving town.

Nothing in life will ever come that easy.

Doesn't mean it has to be that hard.

I know you will find out who you are

But when your broke and down and no one else is around.

You'll come running back to this town and

I'll be there, yeah I'll be there.

Cause I remember how we drank time together

and how you used to say that the stars are forever.

And daydreamed about how to make your life better by

leaving town, leaving town.

Yeah I remember how we drank time together and

how you used to say that the stars are forever.

And daydreamed about how to make your life better by

leaving town, leaving town.

Your leaving town, yeah

Bio...Fun

2005-05-16T17:19:00.000-04:00

oh yeah, the bio dinner was last night, and it was absolutely amazing. Although a little akward to be in Ms. Nicholson's house (with her "friend" who im pretty sure is actually her boyfriend), the food couldnt have been better, and fun was had by all.

Afterwards we introduced Chris McGeorge to Mean Girls, complete with Breezy quoting every single line. twas a blast, now we just have our final project to do and we are free from all!

photo time!

2005-05-16T16:59:00.000-04:00

i really dont have much to write about, so i decided it was time for a few fun pictures. not exactly recent, but exciting all the same.

First Up: only a few more months til i move in at AU, so i figured one from on campus would be appropriate. this is my roomate from NSLC Brittney and I with the tiki man on campus (why it's there, i have absolutely NO idea!)

In honor of the fact that the Motion City Soundtrack/Jack's Mannequin concert is less than a month away, heres a pic of Andrew (lead singer of soco, and a member of Jack's Mannequin as well) from the soco concert we went to in the fall.

I absolutely love this building. it was the sole reason i contemplated not throwing Marquette out of the running for schools i might have decided on. It is the art museum in Milwalke, and i think it looks like a spaceship! (cool fact: it was designed by the same man who designed the Sydney Opera House)

Heres a fun one, this is my cousin, Chris, from England, Kate, and I last summer when chris and i went to Beaver Island to visit Kate. (although the look on Chris's face may lead you to believe otherwise, we are actually completely sober!)

Well this one just makes me look like a freak but oh well. This is a random night with nothing to do in which we ended up running around Walmart taking pictures of ourselves being retarded. Personally, i think the granny-panties-over-the-pants-look is pretty hot!

And this one is just Beautiful. it is of La Jolla (the town that Claire and I stayed in last spring break in California)

what the hell

2005-05-10T22:59:00.000-04:00

i have been so happy for so long lately and today i suddenly had an all round shitty, unhappy, crappy day. What went wrong? well you see there's my problem, nothing really went wrong, i just felt like crap. But, i have convinced myself that returning to sophmore year is out of the question, and im praying this is a one day feeling.

But, I realized today that my group of friends seems to be changing quite quickly. the past few weekends (lots of weekends it seems) have consisted of me spending time with the bio people and jason, not my regular crowd. And that sucks, i means i have all sorts of geeky fun with claire, breezy, ben, and jason...but i miss everyone else.

It seems like i kinda got pushed out of the crowd for being the single one, which is something i know other people have felt before. maybe its just my awful mood but it seems like none of them ever call me to hang out when there are group get togethers. aww well, i guess thats how life goes. you move from friends to friends, never staying in one place too long. besides those few you keep around permanently.

then there's jason. i really thought things were gonna be peachy between us, and something was going to start, but it doesnt really seem like that is in the picture right now. maybe im crazed, but im getting the "just friends" vibe from him lately. and when i think about it he really isnt the type to have a girlfriend. hes jason the "shy" one when it comes to girls. in that aspect hes kinda like brendan, the guy that you assume has girls who would love to date him, but still doesnt ever date anyone. I dont know whats gonna go down, but im kinda upset by it. i was looking forward to the idea of it and now im pretty sure that idea is thrown out the window. i guess we'll just have to see what comes of it.

anyways, any cheer-me-up thoughts, i could use some.

The vagina is a very hostile environment

2005-05-09T21:32:00.000-04:00

Although this past chapter about animal reproduction proved to be extremely exciting (how can learning that the vagina is a very hostile environment NOT be fun!), i am happy to report that the class formally known Advanced Placement Biology is now known as "Advanced Placement Beach." Today I completed my official AP test for Bio, what fun...four wonderful hours in a room testing my complete knoledge of the wonderful subject Biology! Anywho...

we celebrated the completion of our exam with a "road trip" to harbor springs to eat lunch at the Island Bean (if you havent been there, I HIGHLY recommend it. it's attached to the gas station in downtown harbor.) which we took down by the water in Harbor and layed in the grass to eat. This was claire breezy ben and i by the way. i have to say putting four ap bio students together can never be a good thing, for we turn into complete geeks and relate all everyday experiences to bio...gross. I would have to say the ride home provided the most relaxing form of not caring ever though. Claire had a stack of her study cards in the backseat, and apon finding them, breezy slowly threw them one at a time out the window. "carbohydrates...never have to think about those again. the digestive system...never have to think about that again." needless to say her Ben and I passed the stack around and relieved ourselves of the Bio awfulness. (of course with claire in the background yelling about how we were ruining the environment as well as that if she got a littering ticket we would have to pay it).

SIGH....I am free. for real.

do I likey?

2005-05-04T16:47:00.000-04:00

Well Lauren referred to him as "SO SWEET" and steph inquired "do you likey?" as comments on that last blog about prom, so i figure it's time to write a little bit about Jason.

My first real experience of getting to know Jason was my AP Bio (aka devil) class. First semester he was part of our little cluster in the back that always seems to be talking not listening to the lectures. I can remember every once in a while thinking he seems like a really fun guy, and really sweet, but of course i never said anything because there was Matt, and i loved my relationship with Matt at that time. So i never thought twice about the little crush i had developed. After first semester Jason dropped. and i never really thought about it again un til a late night phone call one night in which Claire informed me that Ben had asked her to prom, and that Jason planned to ask me. Then i kinda went "hmmmmm" this could be interesting.

So he asked and things went on, until one day early last week. I left school and started walking out to my car, only to notice something rather large resting on my windsheild. Well, Jason had left me a few orange roses with a little note attacted. i know Incredibly sweet of him. So that friday night we went and saw a movie, he picked me up, opened all doors for me, paid, walked me to my door afterwards, all the sweet things guys do. so at that point i really got to thinking.

I already wrote about the fact that prom was amazing, which it was. Now i a left with being completely perplexed as to what to do about this. As all of you who know Jason know, he is incredibly shy, so i know that if anything is going to come from this i need to start the discussion. but we'll see. in figuring things out right now. The thing im worried about though is the fact that i AM leaving for washington dc in less than four months. if i was sticking around in state i could handle holding on to a relationship while in college, but being so far away would be impossible. i dont plan on coming home before Christmas, so thats that.

any avdice peoples?

Prom 2005

2005-05-01T14:29:00.000-04:00

well prom was last night, and it was absolutely amazing. i was a little nervous about it before just because it was the first time i ever actually went with a real date, who i wasn dating at the time...kinda seemed like a little bit of pressure because of that. but it was awesome.

Belinda did my hair (lauren katelin and i all went together) and it was kinda depressing because it was her last day at City Limits, because shes switching to a different salon, but oh well, we had a blast. then i went to Breezy's to get ready, and we were running beyond late! none of us were in our dresses, or finished doing hair when people showed up to pick some of us up!! oh well, made things exciting.

After that we Claire and I headed out to the McMurray's to meet up with the parents and the boys. Mrs. McMurray had drinks and appetizers for the parents like an hour before we went out there, which i thought was so sweet. then came the dredded Picture Time! so, heres a few for you to feast your eyes one!

w00t i managed NOT to stab him with the boutineer pins! and aww arent we gorgeous...lol

From left: Jason, me, Ben, Claire.

This one is my favorite. us gals have a tradition of doing the "Charlie's Angel's" pose for pictures before dances, and we thought it would be funny if we got ben and jason in on it as well...but they werent too keen on it. so our news paper has this "where in the world is the news review" thing where you take pictures holding up the paper on random trips and things...so Mrs. McMurray went and got a paper, and we fully plan on blowing this one up for Ben's grad party to pick on him!

well. as the night went on, we went to the dance, basically made fools of ourselves. then went back to McMurrays afterwards and hung out for the night, it was actually pretty nice out and we have a little bonfire on the beach, went swimming (yeah it was freezing, but the hot tub afterwards was wonferful!). and in the morning Ben made us waffles!

anyways, all in all it was a wonderful night, and im glad i moved on from my month or so when i claimed i wasnt going to prom. hope everyone else had a blast as well!

concert time

2005-04-25T19:28:00.000-04:00

well im a retard and wrote this post last week, but posted it on my lyrics blog by accident, so here it is on this one!

Motion City Soundtrack
Thursday June 9th
The Intersection
Grand Rapids

WAIT WAIT WAIT....it gets better! it is a CD release party, all of two days after the cd comes out (yes i am gonna have to wait those two days so i can buy it at the show and have them sign it...we are waiting around this time!) AND they are playing with Jack's Mannequin (a band that features Andrew from SoCo!)
so i really probably couldnt be any more excited about a concert than i am right now. this is like us going to see SoCo all over again! w00t for claire and i's wonderful concert finding talents!

exit, emergency

2005-04-23T22:30:00.000-04:00

I realized today that it has been forever since ive posted, and even longer since ive actually posted something of my own! i feel like ive been really busy lately, yet i cant point to anything in my life that has been taking up much time at all.

theres school, and working out, and thats it. ive barely done any homework, that whole senioritis thing is getting in the way of that. I'm thinking that the next month or so is gonna be a peice of cake, and none of my teachers are really going to care, so thats wonderous!

Prom is next weekend. Prom is next weekend. Prom is next weekend. Prom is next weekend. maybe if i say it enough times i'll actually belive it's almost here already. to tell you the truth a while ago i wasnt excited about prom whatsoever. them i bought my dress...the one i am officially in love with...and i got a little more excited. then i thought i wasnt gonna find anyone to go with...then Jason asked me, and now im pumped. im actually going all out this year. im even getting my nails done, ROCK ON!!! and Claire is going with ben, so the four of us are kinda double dating, if you can call it dating, lol.

definately going to post pictures when they are all taken and everything, so be looking forward to it!

amusing

2005-04-20T18:37:00.000-04:00

I was randomly flipping through blogs the other day, and i found this and thought it was hilarious. thanks http://ihatetheitguy.blogspot.com/ for your contribution to my blog!

A parent's worst nightmare:

A father entered his daughter's bedroom and saw a letter on the bed. With the worst premonition he read it with trembling hands.

Dear Mum and Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I've eloped with my new boyfriend. I've found real love and he is so nice, especially with all his piercings, scars, tattoos, and his big motorcycle. But it is not only that, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more children with me and that is one of my dreams.
I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and his friends. They're the ones providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we could ever want. In the meantime, we'll pray for science to find the AIDS cure so Ahmed gets better. He deserves it.
Don't worry about money, Ahmed has arranged for me to be in films that his friends Leroy and Jamal make in their basement. Apparently I can earn $50 a scene and I get a $50 bonus if there are more than three men in the scene, and an extra $100 if they use a horse.
Don't worry Mum, now I'm 15 years old I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'll visit you and Dad so that you can meet your grandchildren.
Your loving daughter,
Aimee

P.S. Dad, it's not true, I'm at a neighbours house. I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than denting the car. Sorry about your B.M.W.

I love you, Aimee

what a refreshing day

2005-04-14T22:23:00.000-04:00

have you ever reunited with an old friend, someone you never realized you had gotten so out of touch with, and realized how much you missed spending time with them? today, i did just that, and it was great. Brianna and i were tight in middle school, and somehow high school tore us apart, and we never got much of the chance to spend time together. So today, when we both ended up and the softball game, we spent a bunch of time talking, or... just plain being goofy is more like it.

anywho we both left, and then about five minutes before the OC was coming on, Brianna called desperate because her cable broke, so she came over. i honestly dont think that i have spent time with the girl outside of the classes we have together for over a year. anyways, this got me thinking about college and such. There are so many people in our class that i see every day at school, and that is the way in which i communicate with them. they are people that i think are awesome, and i love to hear about their lives, but dont actually see outside of that. Next year is going to bring a wave of new people, and unfortunately wash all of these people right out. A step i am not so sure i want to come. the new people will be great, but i hate to say goodbye to the old.

People always talk about graduation being the last time you see so many people, and it is so much the truth. Yes, maybe i will run into a few of them around town, seeing as though it is a small place, but im not going to be home all the time, im gonna be forever and a half away in DC. so i suppose this is me freaking out about moving on, leaving the people that i have grown old with, the people who have witnessed me grow up. the new people wont have that past, ill have to explain it to them, and i always wonder what my explanation will bring. will i talk about my past in a completely different light than the people who experienced it thought of it? or will i get it right on?

is it normal to have cold feet? (got i sound like this is a wedding). or should i just get on with it and get used to leaving the majority of my P-town people, and moving on to hopefully bigger and better things. or at least things that are just as good.

today i had a huge amount of time to waste between my college class and high school because we got out early, and i figured i was already excused til 3rd hour, so why go to class. so i took a little drive around town, trying to figure out this whole moving on thing. I drove down by the waterfront, and out pickrel lake road, picked out all the places i had good memories in the town, and tried to commit a visual to memory. but in doing all of this, i felt a deeper appreciation for Petoskey, it truely is an absolutely beautiful place. we have water galore surrounding us wherever we look. a picturesque, quaint little downtown area. people from all around the country, even from other countries actually come here to visit, that has to say something about the area.

anyways, besides my epiphany that Petoskey is truely a beautiful place, and that i am never going to see a lot of my everyday aquaintences once graduation rolls around, i had a pleasant day. and w00t for the sun finally being out again.

sex

2005-04-13T23:25:00.000-04:00

and the city of course

When the show Sex and the City came out, i have to admitt i thought that it was going to be another sleezy worthless show, so therefore i never took the time out of my day to actually watch it.

About a month ago, while in Cinncinati with my parents, i was flipping through the channels and stopped on a show that looked alright. little did i know, i had opened myself to this show that i had previously thought to be absolutely horrid.

Although my shitty new cable service sadly does not include HBO, i am officially addicted to the reruns that they plan on tbs. the other night i actually took in caffine so i would be able to stay up for the 10-11 shows. how incredably pathetic is that.

now this post was not ment to boast the wonderfulness of Sex and the City, i just felt it appropriate to tie in a real world, kinda fun, example to what i wanted to write about. A few days back my Communications prof (Carol as i will refer to her from now on) gave a lecture on perception, focusing on your "first impression" of people that you meet. we did an exercise where we had a list of characteristics, and we had to match them up with people in the class (this was near the start of the class so none of us knew that much about each other). i was picked out by almost everyone as the "good catholic girl." i thought this ironic, because in a sense i am a good catholic girl, but minus the really religious aspect of it, and plus the innocent part. im not completely innocent, but i must say, im far from corrupted.

and that got me thinking. the first time you looked at someone who means a ton to you now, what did you think? when i look back at a lot of the relationships (intimate/friendships/whatever) i have had in the past, my first impression of those people was often something negative, which turned out to be completely untrue.

so that got me curious, what did people think of me when we first met? ive been pondering that question for a while, so i challenge each and every one of you to tell me. nice things or mean things, i dont care, i wanna know what people think before they actually get to know me! so please leave me a comment. thanks, you guys rock

back in the real world

2005-04-12T10:12:00.000-04:00

well, it's back to school for another two months, err a little under two months. and believe me, i am counting down the days until i am out of here. now, although i am so freaking excited about next year, part of me is hesitant about leaving.

Break wasnt anything majorly exciting. i worked a few days, made some cash, then we headed down to Washington DC. It was great to be on AU's campus again, made me miss everyone back at NSLC...:( but also brought back a TON of awesome memories. ahhh good times. but, im pleased to announce that there will be many more awesome memories made on that campus, seeing as i enrolled for school there next year last night! oh, how exciting. it's incredibly far from home, but in an amazing city. ill be glad to have Whit just around the corner at George Washington, and maybe Jill will be at AU as well. im sure to be in for a great time though, no doubt about it.

I had a chance to catch up with Sam (my cousin) while i was on campus. i think he's excited to have me down there, seeing as though he's been going through some rough times down there with the girlfriend moving out, and not having too many people he is close to around. But, he is trying to get his masters board to allow him to write his thesis in Egypt instead of staying in DC next semester. oh well, he'll be back after that.

In other news, im becoming quite upset about this John Bolton guy. He has openly opposed the UN, even stated that the UN doesnt actually exist outside of people's immaginations Yet the Bush Administration is hoping to have him appointed as our ambassador to the UN...something there isnt quite right to me. We listened to NPR most of the drive back from DC (as much as i used to complain about my parent's love affair with this station, it's definately growing on me) and they cited speech after speech of this guy's from a few years ago. Now, when asked about it, the man dismisses ever even saying those things. It seems to me that the individual appointed to this possition should be someone supportive of the United Nations as a whole, not someone with no belief in the organization whatsoever.

i guess we'll see that happens, there is one moderate that the decision is resting on, come on people, persuade him this Bolton guy is a lunitic!!

well, time for me to head to World History, so im out

calming yet thought provoking

2005-04-03T20:57:00.000-04:00

As catholics all over the globe mourn the death of the pope, others have been forced to take a deep look into what they believe in. Amy, a friend of mine from NSLC was fortunate enough to be vacationing in rome at the time of the Pope's death. what an experience. Above you see a picture she took of the pope's residence, and the people swarming the area, "pilgrims" as they were called.

At church this morning, Father Denny boasted his belief that the death of Pope John Paul II would bring a wave of newcomers into the catholic church. i am greatful that this has brought a positive light onto the curch, which for some time now has been portrayed so negatively in the news. This does make me happy, for it is the religion i attach myself to, no matter what my true beliefs towards it are. beliefs that this weekend have forced me to place under scrutiny.

I am a firm beliver that the death of the pope may bring hopeful change to the religion. althought my belief that there is not a god may never leave me, it would please me to see that the church i was raised under finally became a church i could in some way connect with, although not spiritually. I am a firm beliver that the church has placed itself in such a conservative stance, people are turned away. with women placed in such a negative light, and given a complete lack of oppertunity for leadership, the church seems to be living so far in the past, many cannot connect with them.

although there are many things i belive that the church can improve on, there are also so many that i do not agree with, and know will never change. This period of change in my life that is so quickly changing, a change to almost complete freedom is sure to also bring a huge change in the spiritual world. more and more as i attend church these days i am flooded by the feeling that i am being brainwashed, yet i go each and every Sunday in an attempt to please my parents who are under the firm belief that it will somehow make me believe again, and somehow pull me back into their catholic world. leaving for college will most definately bring a lack of that spiritual aspect of my life, and i am intrigued to see how it will affect me in the whole scheme of things. wish me luck.

one day to freedom

2005-03-30T16:01:00.000-05:00

Starting about sophmore year, every spring i would boast the fast that i had senioritis...and i truely believed that i did. but now, those days are nothing compared to what i am feeling now. i have no motivation to try whatsoever when it comes to school, all i can do is think that there are only a few more months and my misery will be replaced by a nice long summer break, before heading off to college, something that i am MEGA excited about.

to make it worse, it is the week before spring break, i have been working my ass off for a while now without any sort of break, so this is looking likea heaven to me, dispite the fact that im not going anywhere too exciting. So, only one more day until my freedom!!!

ya know, i felf kinda bad because i havent written anything in a while, but now that i look at it, i really have nothing to write about...

i am pretty much possitve that i am going to American, im just waiting until we go there so that i can make sure it is what i want..but i am mega excited about going down there. i mean what could be better for a poli-sci major that living in the capitol! w00t. but all yall better promise to come and see me, because im gonna miss yall!

k...im out of things to talk about, peace!

i know i know

2005-03-25T23:39:00.000-05:00

i saw this post on someone's blog, and i just HAD to post it. thanks "dr. forbush" for your work!

(please think about only half the lights in our school being on, and the budget cuts leading to the "early retirement buy out play" that many of the good teachers in the school are leaving for)

Education 2006
One reason conservatives and moderates chose to support George W Bush in November was the illusion of the “No Child Left Behind” program passed in the first year of the Bush administration. This law turned out to be positive in name only.
Congress is considering next year’s budget and education is once again on the table. Conservatives have total control of both houses of congress and they can pretty much pass whatever law they deem necessary to improve the education of our children. The Far Right Republicans lead by George W Bush say that they don’t want to leave any children behind. However, the proposals for this budget say differently.
The House resolution would lead to $38 billion in cuts to education and training from 2006-2010, compared to current spending adjusted for inflation. The Senate version of the bill was protected with an amendment by Senator Kennedy to protect education funding. However, if both versions of the bill are passed a conference committee is likely to strip the bill of this amendment in order to reach consensus.
President Bush is breaking his promise to Americans. He called on the nation to reform our public schools, pledging to make sure that all children receive a quality education, the president has ignored his own pledge. Bush's budget is $12 billion short on funds he promised for the No Child Left Behind Act the program that he touted in the election. The president's proposals would also cut 25,000 children from Head Start, leave 1.7 million children without after-school programs, and kick 2.8 million adults out of programs that help them learn to read.
Why doesn’t the Government have money for education? The government doesn’t have any money for education because the far right radical Republicans have cut taxes to the wealthy. Far Right Republicans don’t really care about public education, because their kids are in private schools. And, the whole reason that the government sponsors education is to keep America a democracy. People need to understand the facts in order to make good decisions. But radical Republicans don’t care about the truth and less education benefits their cause. They can get the uneducated to support the agenda of the wealthy while the poor children don’t get the education they need to keep America a Democracy

shopping is the cure

2005-03-25T23:20:00.000-05:00

well, seems as though our shopping trip did wonders for my sore throat... or at least for now it did. im still in a bit of pain, but things are shaping up for the night. the shopping trip turned out to be an awesome and much needed get away. i wasnt planning on buying much, but came home with uhhh like a new wardrobe! oops, but oh well i definately got a lot for my $80 that i spent. w00t for bargin shopping!

While calling my mom to tell her i was on my way home, i ended up talking to my brother, and him and his friends were headed to boyne to go hot tubbing for the night, and he wanted some "sibling bonding time" so i decided to go with them. as much as i love my own friends, brendan's always ensure a good time as well. so that was good for me, although the clorine ruined my skin, making it forever dry.

anyways, Brendan told us a story about getting peed on this morning that i thought was absolutely hilarious, definately gross, but hilarious all the same. (for those of you who don't know my brother, brace yourselves for you will soon know how crazed he is). so, brendan had gotten out of bed, and gone to the community bathrooms to take a crap...(dun dun dun). when he finished up apparently there was a guy in the stall next to him peeing, so brendan, being brendan, decided it would be funny to reach under the stall and tie his shoelaces together...and he proceeded to do so. (just wait it gets better) so this guy, he had a name, but i wasnt really paying attention to that, decided it would get brendan back if he just peed on his hands while he was attempting to tie his shoes together.

and that is the story of how brendan got peed on this morning. goonight.

oops

2005-03-23T17:03:00.000-05:00

okay, scratch that whole healthy thing. i was only being hopeful. i got up this morning, and couldnt eat breakfast because of the major swollenness of my throat. finally by like 10 i was able to get down a pop tart, and my lunch squeezed in there. ick. this is no fun.

other than that my life hasnt had too many intrigueing moments. well, there was AP lit today, lauren and i rocked the house with our wonderful musical talents, well okay laurens musical talents, and my poety reading talents....was quite interesting.

in other news, this whole Terri Schiavo thing is getting to be a little much, no offense Bush, but how is it YOUR business, and why the hell should you be creating new laws based on this circumstance. I believe that it should be between the family members and her husband to solve this issue, not the business of the entire world, and tisk tisk to the press for seeing her unfortunate state and a way to make some money. Personally i feel that if she has been in this state for 15 years, she is obviously not going to get better, and if there is nothing to do to help her, i truely believe that it is best to let her pass away. But the realy point to this rambling is that i do not feel it is the business of the entire nation, or does it belong in politics. I am in fact glad the court of appeals turned down her family's request and hope that the supreme court will not accept it, solely for that reason.

what do you guys think?

healthy!

2005-03-22T21:40:00.000-05:00

well, my sickness only lasted a few days, thank god. although im still a little sluggish im back on my feet. i was even able to make it to the gym today! w00t.

in other news, every day that passes i become more and more excited for my future (and at the same time more and more nervous). I can't wait to graduate from high school. As corny as it sounds, this "milestone" in my life is really important to me. Moving on to college has been something i have been looking forward to for years, and it is finally in my midst. I am finally narrowing down my options for college, and am about 80% sure that Washington DC will become my home away from home for the next four years. As exciting as it is, i cant help but wonder what my college life has in store for me. I cant help but wonder what the poeple i meet will me like, and if they will in fact replace my friends from high school.
I know what everyone says, the friends you have in high school are not your friends as you grow old, it is the people you meet in college that stay with you for the long haul. mayby i am just being naive, but i truely do believe that i have a close enough bond with the people i am friends with for those friendships to last. come on, we are the "lifelong friends."

i suppose that time will tell. until then, i love you guys.

sickness is evil

2005-03-21T12:24:00.000-05:00

well, my weekend was seemingly uneventful. friday i did homework until almost 10 when steph and gabe came over to watch Maid in Manhattan. what a wonderful movie! saturday i worked, then went to the high school musical which was awesome! then to steph's for a little bday celebration and some poker, i got my ass kicked and left early because i didnt feel super wonderful.

sunday was spent mostly in bed trying to rid myself of this nasty whatever the hell it is that i have. stomachache, headache, just all around tired and feeling icky. that didnt work out too well, and because i slept a lot of the day, i was up til almost 3am unable to fall back asleep. then this morning when i got up to go to school (i must note that i was happy to be leaving the house, having spent ALL of sunday inside) and nope, it just wasnt going to happen, i was stuck here again.

so i have resorted to toughing up and going to school mainly for the sake of getting out of my house and actually seeing peope other than my parents. yes, i want to go to school. ew i know.

in other news....AMERICAN!!!! ive gotten my financial aid info, and its a happything. i never thought it would even be an option for me to go there, but now it seems that it is a possibility. i am good for the first 2 years, i am just worried that i will lose my grant for junior and senior year when Brendan isnt in college anymore...but we'll see. So towards the end of spring break, it's off to DC for a campus visit.

I believe my parents are on the verge of purchasing a new car. w00t for another s00by!! good ole' Jetta will be missed greatly, it was such a fun car (on the few occasions i was granted permission to actually DRIVE it) but it isnt our best friend when it comes to winter weather, so it's time for it to leave. As for the Mazda, im so happy to see that peice of shit out of here! no more "door that only opens from the inside" and heater that barely works, and really freaky noises, and warning lights coming on and the antifreeze boiliing over! YAY. only prob is the purchase of new car leaves us with only three cars, oh well, sharing is allowed when Brendy gets home from college. But, i seem to have avoided what we are getting. Subaru came out with a new model of the Outback this year, and hopefully in a few weeks a pretty light green one (YES it is also a stick) will be in our driveway. w00t for new cars!

well, the school calls my name, i must away to bio. finally i will make my way into the outside world for the first time in forever.

slainte!

2005-03-17T10:57:00.000-05:00

for those of you who dont know, that is gaelic for "cheers". i thought it was appropriate for the day, although that is sadly not the focus of todays post. but HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY none the less.

I have come to a realization that the vast majority of the bands that i love are not the band your hear on everyday mainstream radio. (okay okay, i came to this realization a long time ago, but i have decided to make it a point to share my music with the world. In that light, i will be sharing one of my favorite, more undeardof, bands each week.

And the band of the week is...dun dun dun... MOTION CITY SOUNDTRACK.
I thought this was a fitting band to feature this week, seeing as though we missed out on their concert last night. :( couldnt find tickets on the short notice, but ah well.
Motion City came to me in an unusual way, but awesome none the less. Last fall, a few friends and i found out about a something corporate (my favorite band of all time) concert only a few hours away. at the time we had never heard of motion city, but they were opening for soco, so we got an aweosme introduction to them. I will admitt though, it is a little hard to get into a band live when you have never heard any of their songs. BUT, when we returned home, it was only a short period of time until i had their cd, and it became one that i listen to on a regular basis.
the thing i love about this band is their punkish tone that is at the same time really upbeat with catchy lyrics. it makes for an aweosme sound. i have to recommend the song "the future freaks me out" as one of their best, because it was the first i was aquainted with, but others such as "Perfect Teeth" and "Autographs and Apologies" are also wonderful (as well as the rest of their cd called I am the Movie.
so check them out! and the y have a new cd coming out this summer, so get ready :)

Architect of my demise

2005-03-15T19:45:00.000-05:00

~First of all, i would like to give a shoutout to my pal Stephanie for officially making my evening worth my being alive. Don't hate me hun, but i gotta tell this story. So, we were sitting down to dinner, and i hear my phone ringing, so i went to check who it was, and it was steph so i quickly answered it to tell her i was sitting down to dinner and would call her back. BUT, she insisted it was just a quick question, so i told her to continue. her question "can i put a glass batter bowl in the microwave for 14 min?" i told her "well steph, the best thing would be just to look on the bottom and see if it says microwave safe, and then you will have you answer. it never fails that i will get a laugh out of you sweetie. thanks.

~In other news, as many of you may have seen on lauren's blog, i DID get into american. imagine the suprise at getting an acceptance email a full 3 weeks before i was supposed to hear from them. and a thanks to Whitney for letting me know that they had sent out emails, always lookin out for me. now i am praying for a miricle when it comes to financial aid so that i will be able to go there. (cross your fingers for me)

~ I also highly recommend the song "When the President talks to God" by Bright Eyes...well okay you might not all like it, its one of those political things. so i guess ill just post the lyrics. yeah yeah yeah i know i have a seperate blog for that, but these are a different type of lyrics, these are in line with my political views. so here we go: